Exploring

Salam

lately ni I've been thinking about sharing my ideas publicly, atau dalam bahasa lain, lebih meluas capaiannya (publicly tu hmmm not really sure)

because, I think I've got many things to share, tp since mcm segan nak share mcm one to one, unless it's usrah (that's why I like to bawak usrah, because I can share my ideas and thoughts there, without feeling awkward hahaha), why not make it somewhere public

hmmmm, again. when I said public. I'm not quite sure how public is it that I want it to be. setakat yg terfikir, nak share kat whatsApp story, IG TV etc. sebab lebih secure since I know those who can view it are all my friends or at least people that I know, haha. terutamanya IG TV la, sbb dia mcm TV kan, siapa nak tengok, silakan, dan boleh revisit balik kalau nak tengok sbb tersimpan kat situ kan

kalau WhatsApp story, I've already hide my story from all boys contacts, as far as I know harapnya takdelah yg terlepas lagi 😬

and actually mcm kalau nak mudah, I'm planning to just record a simple video of me just talking, without the need to edit anything hmmm, kalau rajin nak edit pun, maybe just subtitles and watermark, and maybe thumbnail? ceh rajinnya hahaha

tapi kalau nak share dalam whatsApp story, segan sikit laa haha sbb dia tak jadi konsep macam TV lah kalau nak tengok boleh, taknak pun takpe 🤔

unless, if I turn in into an animation/illustrational video lah, I can be the voice and the rest tu, maybe boleh minta tolong adik atau sesiapa buat. because............. i might take time to finish things since I'm a bit, perfectionist, maybe? sebenarnya suka je nak explore benda² pasal design ni, tapi tulah, takut akhirnya terbazirkan masa kat situ hahaha

bila tah nak face that kind of problem and settlekan 🤔

btw what I share, it can be, kind of TED Talk atau ala² Aida Azlin punya video? because it can be both reflections and ideas worth sharing hahahaha. 100rius lah tapi

btw hrtu ana dengar balik video Aida Azlin about doing stuffs, tak ingat tajuk dia apa, tapi pointnya adalah, if you want to do something just do it tak perlu tunggu perfect baru nak start. contoh, rasa nak create video? buat je dulu, tak perlu perfectly edited atau tunggu cukup peralatan utk buat video. and...... it doesn't have tu be posted online pun kalau taknak lagi. sbb kadang² that kind of thought, about needing to be perfect and thinking about other's perception yg buat langkah kita terhenti. untuk even, start the first step. like, hello you haven't even started tapi dah takut hahahahaha

but honestly, that's me. and I've just realized that, when she said it that way, and when my siblings and friends said about it to me. tanpa disedari, I've always been wanting to do things perfectly to the point that sometimes it takes too much time that's unnecessary pun, dan kadang² sampai takut nak start buat apa². sebab tanpa disedari, I am, afraid of failure.

and that's a mindset that I've been in, for such a long time, rupa-rupanya.

ooh, and then there's this saying of Nouman Ali Khan (NAK) in one of his video, he said that we will only know ourselves when we put ourselves to work, that's when we know our strengths, weaknesses and so on. dan memang betul pun apa yang dia cakap, because I've experienced what he said. I never knew that I'm a systematic and good at management person, until I work with people etc. dan terutamanya bila muhasabah ke apa orang komen pasal kita, benda yang kita tak pernah sedar. so benda tu sangat membuka mata lah sebenarnya. dia macam moment of realisation yang "oooh aku pandai menyanyi rupanya!" haaa lebih kurang gitulah

dan bila masuk uni dan terlibat dengan society etc, diberi tanggungjawab, bukan sekadar ahli biasa yang just jadi peserta program, barulah saya sedar pasal kebolehan dan potensi saya. dia lain tau bila kita jadi ahli biasa dan kita cuba untuk pegang jawatan, sbb ada tanggungjawab yang kena galas kat situ. like you have to think about the people, the resources and so on, mana sama dengan fikir pasal diri sendiri, gitulah analoginya.

oh dan saya masih ingat lagi antara perubahan lain yg saya dapat waktu zamsn sekolah dengan zaman uni, adalah komen orang pasal saya. kalau zaman sekolah, semua kalau ada 100 komen, semuanya akan cakap benda yg lebih kurang sama, pemalu, pendiam, sopan. tak pun, comel 😜😂😂😂😂😂 (eh tapi ini fakta okie? kbye hahahaha)

bila zaman uni pulak, jarang sangat dapat komen macamtu, dan komen² dia lebih diverse dan lebih rare. contoh, sistematik, detail...... okay tak ingat dah sebab diverse sangat bakat saya ni lol 😂. tapi an, satu benda yang pelik adalah, bila zaman uni yang orang ada komen muka garang 🤔. padahal rasanya dari zaman sekolah lagi muka dah garang hahahahaha, tapi mungkin sebab mmg cheerful je kot bila jumpa orang, so jarang lah diorang nampak muka garang tu

kalau zaman uni, sebab ada meeting etc, so peluang nak tengok muka garang lebih banyak, mungkin? hahahahaha sebab muka berfikir saya memang macamtulah, cannot help haha. unless, tengah meeting/usrah online fasa PKP ni. sebab sambil online, tengok muka sendiri 😂😂😂😂😂. so holeh lah latih muka utk senyum sikit hahaha.

okay sebenarnya, muka akan nampak garang kalau tengah berfikir, pening kepala, penat, tak sihat, atau...... salah angle 😂

takpelah, malas nak fikir, dah muka unik nak buat macamana, kalau tengah buat muka biasa pun nampak garang, sedangkan tengah expressionless tu haha. jadi kita kena bersyukur dengan ciptaan Allah ini hehe ❤️

anyways, I'll learn to be more open insyaAllah, learn to make failure, as my friend? eheh?

yang penting, belajar untuk cuba benda baru, insyaAllah. are you okie, dear self? hahahaha